This morning, I was flipping through other people's blogs as usual, albeit being somewhat irritated and guilty.
My sister and me were the last two person who were finishing the bananas, and had a squabble on who should cleaned the plate.
Yeah, I know that being so old now, I should have acted more mature, and not get worked up at such petty things like that, but...I was blogging and couldn't bear to get away from it just to clean a plate.
My sister (who can be an opportunist sometimes), with the excuse of having homework (and I don't), locked herself up in a bedroom, leaving me fuming. And I, who can be stubborn mule sometimes, was certain without a doubt that my sister was the last one who finished the bananas, so therefore be the one who cleaned up, and refused to remove myself from my seat, with my eyes still stubbornly glued to the screen.
It was like old times again.
My mom, at that point, was arranging something, when in a hurry, instead scattered everything onto the floor. As a result, she had to bent her already fatigued body, to pick them up.
My guilt escalated.
At that point, quite suddenly, it dawned on me that, eventhough I had refused to clean up the plate just to get back at my sister, it wasn't so, because all I had done in the end, hurt my mom instead.
Mom was the one who suffered instead.
What I hadn't understood then (when I was young), I understand now.
My pettiness, and the wrong thinking that somehow I can get back at my sister through my pettiness, my distorted concept of "justice"/"retribution", instead trapped me, my sister and mother (the most innocent victim) into suffering, unhappiness, and more anger and hate.
But when I finally did cleaned the plate (honest), and helped my mom to clear the scattered things up, a sense of tranquility and calmness settled over me, that I've never felt before, and came only through my understanding.
And I am truly happy.
That's why I decided to write this post. To share with you all.
I'm now on the path of forgiveness, joy, and self-fufilment.
I'm on the road to a bright future, and perhaps success.
I'm on the route of self-discovery, and self-evolutionto a better person.
And I am happy.