Faith

Last night, I watched a movie.
It was one of those rare, very rare movies, that presented the reality of our world, the ugly truth about our lives in this world.
As usual, there were characters, good and bad, whom (It seems rude to call the characters that, though I know they are still not human despite of anything I called them) I would pine for or hate.
There was this one character.
The typical honest, a bit too blockheaded for my liking (or for anyone's for that matter) guy, who didn't lie (in fact, couldn't), and often reduced to a stuttering mess everytime he's nervous, victimised, or happy (too), and (even) when he's normal, experiencing no whatever highs or lows.
Yup, very boring. Not the kind that would get me hooked.
But, biazzrely, something in me cried out when he died in the movie. Not the kind of miserable, oh-no-you-are-gone-forever kind of cry. But, the kind that resonated deep and strong in my mind, heart and soul. The kind that got me thinking deep into the middle of night.
My mom, quoting from someone, once told me, "It takes many kind of people to make this kind of world."
Odd that the death of a character could get me thinking of this quote again.
That character (I'll call him Pumpkin; he's a bit plump) was, no doubt a good person, a protagonist, a very unlikely hero, who met his end all because of his kindness. (Lots of irony, alright!)
Let me give you a short recap of his untimely, ill-fated death.
He was in love with a girl who eloped with a conman, after a forced arranged marriage with an old but rich man. It was the girl's fate and stupidity (sorry, I'm rude, but she's very infuriating) that she loved that conman, because the conman betrayed her in the end. He eloped with her because of money, and when he used up all the money they stole from the old rich man on the night they eloped, he turned her in to the old man for a handsome reward, as well as accussing the poor Pumpkin to be her lover. So, in the end, Pumpkin and the girl were beaten to death by the old man's hired gangsters.
So, there ends Pumpkin.
Pumpkin is a good guy, without doubt. Eventhough he's boring, he's a beautiful person, because he has an inner beauty: a heart made of gold.
Yet, being a good person, he did not have good blessings. And the conman, the bad guy, did not get the retribution that he deserved.
Our world becomes what people living on it, made of it.
Does this means that more evil people will emerge victorious, and our world will become an uglier, and a darker place?
If that is so, why should we do good anymore?
Often, these questions, uncertainties between good and evil raged endlessly in my mind.
Don't get me wrong, I have a religion. I believe in God.
But, somtimes, when things get out of control even when I've tried so hard, when I've done all I could've done for that person and yet he/she was ungrateful, when people accussed me until I started to feel guilty but I know deep in my heart that I did nothing wrong and even tried my best, I just can't help questioning about God, even when I know it's sinful. Because I just don't know anything anymore. Sometimes, I feel so lost.
What do you do, at times like these?
I? I try to remeber.
I remember, everytime I do something good, I'm filled with joy. I feel good about myself. The feelings, emotions that surrounded me were beautiful.
It's not worthwhile...so let's make it worthwhile, by doing good often.
We might not be able to make our world more beautiful, but we can make our lives beautiful.
Let's make our lives beautiful...and together, let's make our world also a beautiful one.