Things that you can never understand fully.
They are like occasional gifts , of which you made up your mind, very quickly, that you wanted it, you desire it, you simply have to have it, and yet...when you have it, you can't make up your mind. Because you can only pick one. You can't have them all.
Okay, I do agree that my explanation, or rather, a very poor attempt of mine to define what choices are, are pretty confusing.
Actually, what I'm trying to say is, choices are options. They are composed of many things. Defining many: at least more than one.They are a collections of things (pardon my repititive use of the vocabulary 'things') for you to choose from, pick from...having possesion of only one from those things (sorry).
Summarising: Remember a time when your parents will give you one thing which they decide to give, and you would want others that you'd laid your eyes on and decided you want it, but you can't have it because you aren't given the choices. Then, there comes a time when your parents gave you the choices, within a budget limit of course, and you can't make up your mind which one you wanted...because you want them all.
Us as humans are pretty greedy, don't you agree?
Then...choices become easier to pick (at least for me) along the years, of which I make according to mood.
But then, they are supposed to, aren't they, as you realize those choices aren't that life-threatening or that disastrous if you don't have them all. And when you can convince yourself that it is okay to not have them all, soon you don't have that urge to have to have them all.
However, again, as time passes, choices that laid out before you grown in significance. They become factors that can change the course of your life.
I'm a Science Stream student (definition: my studies are based on Science), and this fact is soon going to be a thing of a past. I've to admit, I have some tiny uneasy qualms about it. While science does not exactly filled me up with a passionate desire, I do have a somewhat piqued interest for it. And I couldn't help questioning my choice to switch to another stream. Reasons: 1. The prospect of studying new subjects is pretty daunting to me. 2. I'm going to have to face the possibility of less spectacular results (not that my previous results were that good). 3. I'm going to study subjects that are, maybe, going to be more boring than previous subjects (though I kept telling myself this could be invalid as the opposite might occur).
But, of course, I've weighed my pros and cons, and made my decision, so further pondering is not going to shake it ( though I do hope I feel more confident than I sound).
But this is not the main point.
The main point is: next year, I'm going to have to be a lot more independent than this year. I'm going to have to learn to cook, drive, work, do my chores, and study, all juggled perfactly in an organised schedule, of which I'm afraid I'm not capable of doing.
In truth, to correct my foremost declaration, choices aren't hard to make. As you can see, I'd already made up my mind, and quite early on too.
It's the courage to carry out the chosen choice that's hard.
You'd already made the decision, picked the choice, but you don't know if you're going to make it happen. If it's going to work out as you envisioned it to be.
Still...I might be worried, but that's not going to change my mind.
Because this is my one life-changing decision. It marks the takeoff point of my flourishing and success...or the plunging point of my downfall.
And...if I don't take up that challenge, I am sure to go for a downfall.
Putting it that way, it's not much of a risk then, and it seems so much more manageable.
I'm doing it, and I'll suceed.
I CAN, I MUST, I WILL.