Friday 13 April 2012

Go Teen Writer Contest: This is not what I expected.

Sorry for my dormancy. But, managed to squeeze some time to enter a writing contest. Again. Here's my entry:

Shit.
This is not what I expected.
I stared into the pair of glazed emerald eyes gazing at me, willing it to disappear.
Busted.
My Adam’s apple lodged painfully in my throat, and I struggled to breathe as fear clawed at my lungs.
She was gracefully splayed across the carpet, her tresses elegantly fanned out above her head, and her doe-eyes glancing deep into my eyes. It failed to bother me that she caught me breaking into her house, and stealing.
What bothered me was that she was lying in a pool of blood. She was dead. Very dead. 
Lesson learnt. Never steal. Too late though.
***

Feel free to criticise and comment. Hope you enjoy it. Cheers!

8 comments:

  1. Thanks! And that coming from a really brilliant writer? I'm flattered! Thanks again! :)

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  2. Oh girl, you know I love all things bold and brave enough to start with a swear word. I find it engaging and it gets me in the mood to read further. I think you did a great job here. I'm so proud of you.

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  3. Replies
    1. Oops...don't worry, your comment is safe with me. Also, you're not the only one to have this technical problem...

      Delete
  4. you're really good at suspense. short but sweetenseful.

    (is this the same guy who broke into our house in the province this week? i hope he learned his lesson and receive his karma asap)

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    Replies
    1. Thank you. And that coming from you? It feels good!

      Me too. I kinda feel sorry to him...maybe I shouldn't?

      Delete

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