Saturday, 3 March 2012

A small consolation...

...from an email, that goes like this:

"Thank you so much for participating in the 100-word free write contest on Go Teen Writers! The next contest will begin on March 12th, so make sure you check it out.

Below is your entry and the feedback from the judge:

Fear clawed inside me, and I felt nauseous. My head was spinning, and I wanted desperately to run, but I forced myself to stay. For a delusional moment, I almost convinced myself to flee, and I caught my eyes darting around frantically, searching for escape.
But there was none. Guards stood watchful at exits. I would have been caught immediately, and killed on spot.
The group of slaves ahead of me grew thinner. Terror bit at the back of my throat, threatening to overwhelm me.
And time moved faster. I was next.
Inside, the lion roared. And everything went black.
I’m curious about that line of “the lion roared.” Intriguing. I think things fading to black can make for a tough story opening (since you need your characters conscious to advance the story) and I think you could make the descriptions of the character’s feelings more concise. But a very nice job starting with action and putting your character in a tough spot!

Stephanie Morrill

Author of The Reinvention of Skylar Hoyt series. "
I felt a faint sense of thrill rolling through my heightened senses, tasting the brief sweetness of hope.


  1. Hi, I'm stopping by from the campaign trail. :)
    Congrats on feedback from the contest.

  2. then, i woke up inside the lion's belly.

    1. lol. That's...creative. We could do the part on when Pinocchio woke up in the whale's tummy? That would be quite interesting...


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